


The Various Interpersonal Uses of Force Sensitivity

by FemmeslashFanatic (with_bleeding_hands)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Asexual Rey, F/F, First Time, Food Issues, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Leia Organa Deserved Better, POV Rey (Star Wars), The Force Ships It, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 03:43:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11569599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/with_bleeding_hands/pseuds/FemmeslashFanatic
Summary: Rey explores her newly improved Force sensitivity as well as her newfound fascination with Leia.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a Rey/Leia fic from Rey's POV and this happened.

Leia knocked on the door. “Rey? I know you like the bath, but it’s getting late, and you can’t miss morning chow again. Dr. Kalonia says you have to get 3,000 calories a day.”

I sighed. The warm water surrounding my body was the most extraordinary thing I had ever experienced, aside from the taste of some of the fruits Leia had fed me from the Resistance’s base’s garden. I didn’t want to get out of the tub, but it was Leia’s tub. I hadn’t known how to use the showers, so Leia had shown me how to use the tub in her private bathroom.

I got out of the tub, toweled myself off, changed into the pajamas the Resistance had provided for me, and walked into Leia’s room. She was sitting on the bed with a small machine that she called a “hair dryer”; she beckoned to me and I went over to her. She sprayed my hair with a fragrant oily substance that she told me would protect my hair from the heat, brushed it, and began to dry it with the machine. I loved when Leia dried my hair. She would run her hands through my hair as the hot wind from the machine blew through it, and I loved how it felt. I was working up the courage to ask her to touch my scalp more often. I was enjoying Leia’s hands so much that I didn’t notice when she turned the machine off.

“Rey?”

“Hmm?”

“You really like this, don’t you?” She worked both hands through my hair and I couldn’t help but make a noise.

“Yes,” I sighed. I would probably be embarrassed later, but it felt so good to have her hands in my hair. Leia started massaging my scalp and I made another noise, louder this time.

“You want to lie down?”

I lay down with my head in her lap. I had never been that close to another person before, but it felt right. Leia chuckled and ran her hands through my hair again. I spent a long time lying there while Leia stroked my head. I felt myself go completely limp. I didn’t remember ever feeling like that before.

“Rey?” Leia asked me in a soft voice. “Would you like to stay here tonight? I know you’ve been having nightmares.”

I blinked. “Did you sense that?”

“Yes…not a lot of Force users running around my base. Some low-level sensitivity, but nothing like yours. And I think I was in your dream. That will also do it.” Leia paused for a moment. “My brother dreams about me sometimes. Otherwise I’d wonder if he were dead.”

“I’ll find him,” I whispered. Leia stroked my hair again. I thought about the dream I had had last night. I had watched Kylo Ren’s lightsaber impaling Han Solo again, and then his face became Finn’s, and then Leia’s. “So…Force-sensitive people can tell when someone is dreaming of them?”

“Hell if I know, at least in general. It could be because you’re also Force-sensitive and I have a bead on you.” She paused. “So, about my question.”

“I’ll stay here,” I said. Especially if it meant Leia could keep touching my hair. I had never slept in anyone’s sleeping space before. I had found a bed in the quarters of a downed ship once, and I had tried to sleep there, but it was too soft. I had had trouble falling asleep the previous night because the bed in my quarters was also too soft, but maybe I would sleep better next to Leia. I already felt like I was about to fall asleep draped over her.

“Okay.” She squeezed my shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

I had been hogging the bathroom, but it didn’t take Leia long to brush her teeth and change into her pajamas. She climbed onto the bed and squeezed my hand. “So, Rey, do you snuggle?”

I think I blushed. I felt comfortable with Leia, and when she had touched me before, I had liked it, but I was afraid of doing it wrong. “I don’t know. But I like it when you touch my hair.”

“I’ve noticed. We can do both.” She moved close to me and carefully cradled my head against her chest, just below the base of her neck. I felt her thumb caress my scalp. “Is this okay?”

“Okay”? It felt so good. “I like that,” I sighed.

“Good.” She took hold of the back of my knee and draped my leg over her hip, bringing our bodies closer. She was warm, and the contact felt good. “Still okay?”

I closed my eyes. “It’s nice.”

She went back to touching my hair. It was so soothing. “You may not be able to sleep like this,” she told me. “I won’t be offended if you have to move.”

“Okay.”

I closed my eyes, enjoying the wonderful feeling of Leia’s hand on my scalp, listening to her slow, steady heartbeat. I would definitely have an easier time falling asleep here, with Leia, than I would alone. She moved her hand to my back, her fingertips running along my spine. “Is this okay?”

Another noise escaped my mouth. “Oh, yes.”

“You really aren’t used to contact, are you? I have to say, I’m glad you like it. I’d offer to give you a back rub, but I think your head might explode.”

I pressed my face close to Leia’s neck. I was struck by the strangest impulse, then; I wanted to touch my lips to her warm, tender skin. I pulled away and sat bolt upright, horrified with myself.

“Whoa. What’s wrong?” Leia reached for me and I recoiled again.

My newly…sensitive…Force sensitivity was enabling me to sense things that were scaring me. When I was working on an X-wing or when I was in the mess hall or even when I was just walking down the hallway, I would sense people staring at me. If I looked at them, they were inspecting me as if I were a feed animal, and it _felt_ like they were thinking of me as a feed animal. I could sense a kind of hunger from them. They wanted to do things to my body, things that would hurt. Sometimes those things included kisses. I had a vague idea of what else they wanted; back on Jakku, I would occasionally catch a glimpse of people rutting in shadows or corners, the one on top sometimes mockingly dangling a quarter-portion in front of their prey’s face, sex for food. Was it my turn to feel those things? I didn’t want to hurt Leia!

“Rey, what’s wrong?” She touched my face.

It poured out of me: what I had been sensing, how scared I was, and what I was feeling now. I half expected Leia to slap me; she took me in her arms. “Nobody here would hurt you. And if they did, I’d throw them out on their ass. I want you to think a little bit about what you sensed. Did you sense anyone actually wanting to cause you pain?”

I nestled my face against Leia’s hair. “No…not specifically. I just knew it would hurt.”

“It doesn’t have to,” she said to me in a low voice. “Matter of fact, it shouldn’t, if you do it right. It should feel good if you do it right, and it can be a nice way to bond emotionally. You’re a beautiful girl, Rey, and some of my people may be attracted to you, but that doesn’t mean anyone is going to make you do anything you don’t want to.” She touched my hair again. “Not many couples on Jakku, I take it?”

“Very few,” I agreed. “And even fewer who…who used it to reproduce. Who would choose to raise a child on Jakku?”

“So it was usually sex for food?”

“Yes.”

She gave me a quick squeeze. “Why don’t you lie back down?”

I did, and she gathered me close again. “Leia?”

“Hmm?”

“Why would someone want to have sex with me if they didn’t even know me?”

“You’ve never felt that way about someone?”

The question surprised me. Why would I? “No…why would you ask that?”

“Because that’s how a lot of people are,” said Leia. “Not you, though? Hmm.” She paused. “Well, it’s not unheard of.”

I didn’t understand. “Is something wrong with me?”

“No, of course not,” she assured me. “It’s just unusual.”

“So someone could just…look at me and decide they might want to have sex with me?” Really? That was how most people were? I thought it was mostly about power and control.

“Well, like I said, you’re beautiful. So, yes, that will happen. But it doesn’t mean anyone who feels that way about you is going to hurt you.” She squeezed me briefly.

I remembered how it had felt to want to kiss Leia’s neck. All I had wanted to do was kiss her, nothing else. Was that different from what I had been sensing from members of the Resistance? It certainly felt different. Still, I squirmed so my face was against the front of her pajama shirt, not her skin, so I wouldn’t feel tempted. Leia was so short that that small movement resulted in my face resting against her breasts, but I didn’t sense any discomfort from her. It felt nice. 

Leia resumed touching my head and hair, and it lulled me back into what almost felt like a trance. I fell asleep quickly. I woke up almost instantly, or at least that’s what it felt like; Leia was stroking my hair and holding me, and we were lying close on Leia’s bed. But for some reason, this time it felt right to touch my lips to Leia’s skin at the base of her neck. Leia’s hands moved down my back, and I realized she was touching my skin; I wasn’t wearing a shirt. That was when I figured out that I was dreaming. Well, that and what Leia said: “What an interesting dream you’re having, Rey.”

If I had been awake, I would have blushed. But since it was a dream, I felt strangely detached from any kind of shame or humiliation. I was having a dream about being close to Leia, and that was all I wanted. I was also mildly curious. “Can Force users share dreams?”

“Apparently,” she said. “So, this is how you work? Skip the sex, straight to the naked cuddles?” Leia looked down at herself, keeping one arm around me. “Or rather topless cuddles.”

I looked down at us. Both of us were still wearing our pajama pants. My leg was draped over Leia’s hip, just like it had been in real life. I put my arm around her, sliding my hand up and down her back like she had done for me. “You’re so soft,” I whispered. “Leia, I’m confused.”

“Don’t be. Dreams are weird.”

“I’ll say,” I muttered. As strange as it was to have such an intimate dream about anyone, especially someone I had only met a few days before (although I had been hearing tales of her all my life), my mind had done an excellent job creating the sensation of Leia’s warm, delicate skin pressed against my half-naked body. It was a strangely comforting feeling.

“You really are unusual,” said Leia. “You’re having a dream about us being half-naked in bed together, but I can’t sense any lust. And I think I’m inside your head. Or something.” She leaned back and smiled at me. In my dream, she looked much more happy and relaxed than I had ever seen her, and her hair was down instead of plaited into the sensible braid she wore at night to keep her masses of hair from tangling. I ran one of my hands through her beautiful hair, which was thick and glossy. That felt right. I moved so I could kiss the top of her head. That felt right too.

Leia pressed her hand into the low of my back and kissed my shoulder. “Is this okay?”

I felt light and relaxed and happy. This was a good dream. “Yes,” I sighed. “Should we…wake up, maybe? So we can do this in real life?” It may have been a good dream, but there was a feeling of detachment that came from it being a dream. I wanted Leia to actually kiss my shoulder.

Leia chuckled. “We might be tired in the morning if we try that. Maybe tomorrow night if you want. But for now, we should probably stick to dreaming.”

“Okay,” I said. “Can I kiss you?”

Leia cupped one hand around the back of my head and kissed me. Her soft lips felt so good against mine. I wondered if kissing her for real would feel just as good.

Time doesn’t make sense in dreams. We kissed for what felt like a long time, and then she let me kiss her neck like I had wanted in real life.

“Since we’re dreaming, are you sure you want me like this?”

I looked up from being engrossed in the curve of her neck. “Like what?”

She touched my face. “You could dream about me when I was your age, if you want.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

She smiled, a little sadly. I didn’t want her being sad in my dream. I didn’t want her being sad at all. “You don’t want someone young and beautiful?”

“I want to dream about the person who hugged me when I first got here,” I said. “And you are beautiful.” I kissed her again, and she didn’t argue.

At some point, we woke up. She smiled drowsily at me and said “Good morning, Rey,” and I hugged her tightly and kissed her hair. The texture of her hair was just as silky as my dream had predicted, and I immediately wanted to kiss her mouth and her neck to see what else my imagination had gotten right.

“Can I kiss you?” I asked.

“After I brush my teeth,” she said. “You, too. Trust me, you don’t want to kiss someone with morning breath.”

We brushed our teeth, me doing it a little hastily, and then I took her in my arms and kissed her hard. It was more difficult in real life to get into the rhythm of it, and I had only been able to guess at how Leia’s lips would feel against mine. My imagination hadn’t been able to live up to the reality of kissing her. Her kisses didn’t have any of that frightening hunger that I had sensed from some of the other Resistance members; she was gentle, stroking my hair while she kissed me.

It felt so good.

I wanted to drag her back to her bed and kiss her all day, but she insisted on us getting dressed, and she brought me to morning chow. She asked me not to kiss her or be affectionate with her outside of her quarters, and that was harder for me than I expected, but she was busy after morning chow and I went to work on some of the Resistance’s ships that needed maintenance.

I was absorbed in an X-wing’s faulty exhaust system, having just recently stopped being absorbed in thoughts of kissing Leia, when I sensed that same hunger—lust, I think Leia had called it—coming from someone nearby. I looked up and saw someone leaning against the doorframe. I couldn’t identify their species or gender, but I didn’t like the way they were looking at me. A lifetime of scavenging, though, had taught me a few things about showing weakness. “Can I help you?” I asked coolly.

The mysterious starer waved a hand and smiled. Their smile made my skin crawl. I went back to my work, trying to ignore them, but I sensed their fantasies about my body becoming more specific. I stood up, bracing myself to confront them and mentally taking stock of any tools nearby that I could use to defend myself, but then I heard a familiar voice, not loud but with a steely edge. “Xannijc, is there any particular reason you aren’t at your post?”

The starer—Xannijc—startled and whirled toward the voice. “General!” They saluted almost frantically.

“Not slacking, are you?” I couldn’t help but smile as Leia came in. I had never needed anyone to protect me before, and I might have been offended that anyone else thought I needed protecting. But I liked the aura of protectiveness that radiated from Leia. It was sincere, not patronizing.

“No, General. Just taking a short break.” Xannijc hustled off and Leia came up to me.

“Everything okay here, Rey?” Leia’s expression and posture suggested nothing but military professionalism, so I didn’t put my arms around her the way I was tempted to.

“Better now, thank you, General.”

Several other mechanics were watching us curiously. Leia must have sensed them looking at us, because she reached out and squeezed my shoulder. It was a businesslike gesture, but it got its point across: _she’s with me_. Leia knew perfectly well that I was capable of protecting myself, but she didn’t want me to have to draw on those skills. Probably because she cared about me and because I was a more useful mechanic when I wasn’t dealing with unnerving starers. (That made me wonder, though, if she could sense how little work I was getting done while daydreaming about her.)

“Don’t forget that midday chow is at 1230,” she reminded me. Despite her reminder, I almost forgot about that, but afterward, there was a security briefing; Leia would be speaking, so I wasn’t about to forget that. I didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying, though. I watched her, thrilling a little at the quiet sense of power that she radiated. I completely forgot that when we embraced, she only came up to my shoulder; she did not seem in any way diminutive.

I also couldn’t help but think about my dream. Leia and I had both been naked to the waist, and in the dream, she had said that maybe we could do that in real life the following night. Had her dream-self really meant that? More importantly, would her real self agree with her dream-self? I was a little nervous about being so intimate with Leia, but then again, I had really liked that dream. My mouth went dry as I thought about the sensation of her smooth skin against my body. The memory was faint, as it had only been a dream, and I couldn’t help but think about what might happen the coming night. I thought about the buttons on the green khaki fatigues Leia was wearing. I thought about undoing those buttons, maybe kissing her skin as I did so.

I’ll admit that I didn’t get much done for the rest of the day; I was waiting for the moment Leia would invite me into her quarters again, and the only time I stopped thinking about Leia was when I made my daily visit to Finn in the infirmary. When I knocked on the door to her quarters, she opened it and invited me in, and as soon as the door was closed, I greeted her with a hug and a kiss.

“Hello to you too,” Leia said when I was finally done kissing her. “By the way, I know you very much enjoyed that dream last night, but maybe less undressing me with your eyes during the next security briefing.”

I felt my cheeks glow. “Oh…of course you sensed that.”

Leia smirked slightly. “I didn’t have to.”

I swallowed. “Can I do it for real, though?”

Leia turned away. “Rey…”

“You said in the dream…” I started, but she cut me off.

“Snuggling we can do. Topless…I can imagine you don’t have much context, but that’s pretty intimate.”

“So?” I pressed. “Maybe I like being intimate with you.”

Leia sighed. “I’m sure we’d both like it.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Did she not want to be close to me?

She closed her eyes for a moment. “You know what? Okay.”

I didn’t get to undress her; she climbed onto the bed and turned away from me before taking off her pajama top. She covered herself with the sheets. I was puzzled, but I climbed onto the bed with her. I had been so excited to see her, I had forgotten to bring my pajamas, so I took my clothes off. My skin crawled a little. If we had been on Jakku, me undressing would have been an indication that I was offering sex for a few quarter-portions, or less, depending on how desperate I was and how cruel the person with the food was. Leia reached for my hand. “You okay?” she asked me softly.

In response, I climbed under the covers with her and she gathered me close. She tucked my head under her chin and I buried my face in her neck. I made a whimpering noise against her tender skin. My dream had not, in fact, done an excellent job with the sensation of how it felt to be this close to Leia; the dream paled in comparison. I had to close my eyes to fully savor how it felt to have so much of Leia’s warm skin against my body. It was a few minutes before I was able to think about anything but how good Leia was making me feel. “You’re so soft,” I whispered without meaning to say anything.

She kissed my hair. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Okay with it? I was more than okay with it. It was wonderful. “Can I kiss your neck?” I asked.

She tilted her head back. “Go ahead.”

I covered her neck with kisses. I was sure that my kisses were amateurish, but she stroked my hair and my face encouragingly. I sensed that she was liking it as much as I was. She tangled her hands in my hair as I moved my kisses to her shoulder, then her collarbones. I thought she was going to guide my head a little lower—she was thinking of doing that—so I tried to kiss my way down her chest, but she moved away. “We should stop.”

“Stop? Why?” I sensed her desire for me be suddenly cut off, as if she were hiding it from me somehow.

She laughed, once. “Because I know you feel afraid when people are attracted to you. And you are very attractive, especially when you’re kissing me.”

“You’re different,” I insisted. “I’m okay with you wanting me.”

She lifted my chin so she could look at my face. “How come?”

“Because I trust you. I know you actually care about me, not just my body.”

“Well, you’re right about that,” she said. She gave me a brief kiss. “But I still think we should stop. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable, or…or do anything to you that you wouldn’t want.”

“I trust you,” I said again. “I’d be okay with you doing things to me.”

She laughed, more heartily this time. “Rey, you really need to think about your word choice.”

“I mean it!” I insisted. I moved one hand to her hip. “I sensed you wanting me.”

She shook her head, her brow furrowed. “You’re not saying you would be okay with having sex within a day of telling me how scared you were of other people wanting to have sex with you.”

“You’re different,” I said again. I leaned forward and kissed her, sliding my hand up and down her back. She cupped my face in her hands and gave me more of those warm kisses that I loved, and then she looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes filled with emotion.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. You’d have to show me how to do it, but I’m sure.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to give it a day or so to think about it?”

I rested my forehead against hers. “I have to leave for Ahch-To soon. I don’t want to wait.”

She brushed one hand against my cheek. “You have to promise me something.”

“Of course.”

“Tell me if you want to stop.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think this defines the tag "inappropriate use of the Force".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's really no reason for this fic to be two chapters aside from "it would have been a really long single chapter".

“Okay.” I hugged her tightly and she kissed me between my collarbones.

“Are you okay with lying on your back?”

In response, I shifted so I was on my back. Leia kissed my forehead and stroked my hair. “I’ll have to figure out what you like. Is there anything you want to try?”

“Not really,” I admitted. “I’m not really sure how this works. I know you’re going to touch me between my legs at some point, but other than that…”

Leia looked me up and down, slowly. I remembered Xannijc staring at me and thought how different this was, how much I liked Leia looking at me. “I can see why Dr. Kalonia wants you eating 3,000 calories a day. I can count your ribs.” She cupped one hand around my hip, then leaned over me and kissed the center of my chest. “Are you ticklish anywhere?”

“I don’t think so.”

Leia moved closer and kissed the side of my neck. I turned my head so she could get a better angle and she gave me several slow, gentle kisses from my shoulder to just below my ear. “I’m pretty sure I can sense what you’re thinking,” said Leia in a low voice, “but I think I’m better at sensing distress than I am pleasure. Is this okay?”

“I like when you kiss me,” I sighed.

Leia hesitated for a moment, looking conflicted, then got up and moved so the sheet wasn’t covering her anymore. I reached for her, thinking she was going to move closer to me, but she shied away and reached for her discarded shirt. “What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“I don’t have to be undressed for this,” she said. “Besides, there’s a difference between half-naked snuggling and you actually looking at me.”

“What if I want to look at you?” Did she not know how beautiful she was? She had her shirt halfway on; I didn’t want to undress her if she didn’t want me to, but I touched her throat and her chest. She closed her eyes and leaned against me. I kissed her hair, slowly moving my hand to brush against one of her breasts. “Is this okay?” I asked, echoing her earlier question. 

She sighed. “Yes.”

“I like your body,” I insisted. I was being truthful. Leia was healthy and strong, and the skin I was touching was wonderfully delicate. I curled my hand around her breast and she made a low noise, pressing her face into my shoulder. She wrestled her shirt off and wrapped her arms around me. We stayed that way for a while, her holding me, me with one arm around her waist and one hand touching her breast as carefully as I knew how. “You’re beautiful, Leia,” I whispered.

I felt dampness against my shoulder and leaned back in surprise to see that Leia was crying. “Sorry,” she said, wiping her eyes. “It’s been a long time since I heard that.”

I was puzzled. “But Han…” I immediately regretted reminding Leia of him, and flinched at how my own blunder briefly reminded me of the look on Han Solo’s face as his son’s lightsaber pierced his chest. I pushed the thought away as quickly as I could.

“We’d been separated for seven years, and he wasn’t one for compliments anyway.” Leia tried to wipe her tears away with the sheets, but she kept crying. I hugged her close again until she stopped crying. “Thank you, Rey.”

“For what?”

“Being so damn sweet.” She kissed me. “Are you sure you’re still okay with sex? I haven’t exactly contributed to the romantic mood by crying on you.”

I cradled her face in my hands. “If you still want to have sex with me, I’m okay with it.”

She nodded. “You want to lie down again?”

I lay down and Leia leaned over me, my hips between her knees, but not putting any weight on me. “How about this?” She touched my face.

“There’s something else I’d like.” I reached for her long, long braid. “Can you take your hair down?”

“It would get in the way.”

“It’s so beautiful, though!” I insisted.

She shook her head. “Damn you and your silver tongue.” She undid her braid and combed her fingers through her hair. It cascaded down over her body. She was just as beautiful to me as the glorious green landscape of D’Qar.

I sighed. “You look amazing.”

Leia opened her mouth, I think to protest, but I leaned up and kissed her, wrapping my arms and legs around her. She kissed me back hungrily, pushing her hips into mine, and I sensed the wall she had put up between herself and her desire for me falling down.

She kissed my neck again, then my shoulders, then (after asking me, again, if it was okay) my breasts. She started sucking on one of my nipples, which I didn’t expect, but it felt extraordinary; when she first started doing it, I couldn’t think of anything but how good it felt. “Aren’t you going to touch me between my legs?” I gasped when I could form words. 

“When you’re ready,” she told me. “I’m trying to figure out what feels good to you. At some point, you might start wanting me to touch you between your legs because of the way your body feels. If I just go straight for your clit now, you might not feel much.”

“If you go straight for my…what?”

She smiled, but it was a sad smile. “I have a lot to teach you. Your clit is an organ filled with nerves. If you’re excited, it should feel good to have it touched.” She kissed me between my breasts. “We’ll get there eventually. If you want.”

“I like what you’re doing now,” I sighed.

“Is there anywhere else you want me to touch you?” she asked, sliding her hands along my thighs.

I closed my eyes. “You touching my legs feels good too.”

“Okay.”

Leia touched and kissed me all over. She found a sensitive spot near my hipbone that made me squirm and cry out when she kissed and nipped at it with her teeth. I felt an almost painful throbbing sensation between my legs and I realized I knew what Leia meant about me wanting her between my legs because of the way my body felt. “Leia…!”

She gave me a quick kiss on my mouth. “Are you ready?”

“I am, but…” A thought flitted across my mind: what about Leia? Were we going to take turns doing this for each other? Or was there any way we could do it at the same time? “Is there any way to make it more mutual?” 

“A couple ways,” said Leia. “Some might be a little advanced for a beginner, but I can think of something we can try.”

“So do you want me to kiss you all over like you did for me first?”

Leia smiled and stroked my cheek. “I’d like that.”

She lay down and I tried to copy what she had done for me. Leia liked having her neck and shoulders kissed just as much as I did, but when I thought to ask her what she wanted me to do, she asked me to touch her breasts. I spent a long time doing that, loving her softness, her warmth, her silky skin. I was very, very glad she had decided not to keep her shirt on. I tried to use my mouth on her nipples like she had done for me, and it was much harder than I thought it would be, but I figured it out eventually. As I played with her beautiful breasts, Leia made moaning noises that I loved hearing. “Rey…” She sat up. “Will you get up on your knees?”

I did, and she did the same, cradling my face in her hands and kissing me gently. “Are you ready?”

“For you between my legs?”

“Yes.”

“I am.” 

Leia trailed one hand down my belly and I felt a wave of nervousness. She paused with her hand at the elastic waistband of my pajamas. 

“Are you sure, Rey?” She tilted her head to one side. “Would you be more comfortable masturbating? It doesn’t have to be me touching you.”

I rested my forehead against hers. “How about I show you what I like, and then you can do it?”

She nodded, and I undressed completely so she could watch while I rubbed the sensitive place between my thighs. Was I touching…what had Leia called it…my clit? Whatever I was touching, I wanted it to be Leia doing it. “Leia…”

She took over, her fingertips applying just the right amount of pressure. I cried out, loudly. I had never made so much noise while touching myself before, but I couldn’t help it. It felt so much better knowing it was Leia. Sweet Maker, it left amazing.

“How does that feel?” she asked me gently.

“So good,” I moaned.

She gently dragged her teeth along my earlobe. “So how do you feel about reciprocating?”

Oh, right. And mutual sex had been my idea. I was clinging to Leia like a person caught in a sand storm might cling to a tent pole, but somehow I managed to pry my right hand from her shoulder and get it under the cloth of her pajama pants. I tried to touch her in the same way she was touching me, but she did that thing where she half-bit my earlobe again and asked me to put my fingers inside her. I hesitated; my hands were rough and scarred and unusually strong. Scavenger’s hands. I didn’t have fingers that belonged inside anyone, much less Leia Organa, and the skin I was touching was the most incredibly delicate yet, I could only imagine what it would feel like to…to…

Leia kissed my cheek. “Please, Rey.”

I couldn’t say no to that soft whisper. My hand shook as I carefully slid two fingers into her. She was warm and wet inside, and that made it easier; relief washed over me at the realization that I wasn’t hurting her. I shivered as I caressed her slowly, and she pressed her face into my neck, calling out my name in a low voice. “You were really that worried about hurting me?” she said, a little breathlessly.

She really did have a talent for sensing distress. “Yes,” I managed. “Am I doing it right?”

“Faster. You don’t have to be that gentle.”

I did what she asked, and I couldn’t stop myself from making more noises as the sensation of Leia’s pleasure filled my mind. I felt like my whole body might fly to pieces. I could practically feel the blood singing in my veins.

“Ohhh, you can sense it too, can’t you?” Leia breathed.

I could barely form words. “Yes,” I panted. Leia and I leaned on each other, clutching each other with our free arms, and the sensations I was feeling built and built and built until a helpless squeal escaped my mouth, my body shaking. I had felt something similar before, but nothing of this…intensity. Maybe it was because I was with Leia and could sense everything she was feeling. 

Leia and I collapsed onto the bed; neither of us could stay even remotely upright. I nuzzled close to her, my head pillowed against her breasts. I kissed her skin.

“Thank you, Rey,” she sighed. She sounded exhausted, but happy. I sensed a feeling of deep, contented exhaustion from her.

“I can see what you meant by ‘it should feel good if you do it right’,” I said. I was a little surprised I was able to come up with any words, much less a coherent sentence.

“Are you sure you’d never done this before?” said Leia, one of her hands sifting through my hair. “You did great.”

“So did you. It was amazing,” I sighed. I still didn’t understand why someone would want sex with me without knowing me, but with Leia, it had been…yes, I stood by “amazing”, just as good as or maybe better than the feeling of luxuriating in a warm bath. I had a feeling that if I had been with anyone else, it would have been somewhat underwhelming. She had been a kind and selfless lover, but we had also been able to sense each other's pleasure. On my first day on D’Qar, Leia had warned me almost jokingly that her brother had told her that the Jedi Order had forbidden interpersonal attachments. I could see why; it seemed likely that a group of extremely Force-sensitive people who were allowed attachments would pair off and spend all their time in bed.

I could see what Leia meant about the emotional bonding, too. She was much more relaxed and comfortable than I had seen her, and she wanted to talk while we held each other. To my surprise, she wanted to hear about my life on Jakku. Leia Organa, princess and general, figure of myth and legend, leader of the Resistance, wanted to listen to a scavenger talk about her life.

When I had visited Finn in the infirmary, Dr. Kalonia told me that Finn might be able to hear voices. So I sat with him and held his hand and reminded him of our first time flying the Millennium Falcon together, and when he came to Starkiller Base to rescue me. When I ran out of common experiences, I turned to stories of scavenging. I told Leia some of the same stories: how determined I was to be a free and independent operator, beholden to no one, even if it meant going without food for a few days or even a few weeks. How I was at death’s door when I found the downed AT-AT walker, but the sight of a spinebarrel flower growing in the sand gave me hope that I could survive, and the walker became my home and my repair station. How I finally succeeded in repairing an abandoned speeder after months of trying to figure out how it worked. How I dismantled that speeder so I could reverse engineer a new one, and after I built myself my own custom speeder, I traded in the old one and ate well for three months (even though it should have been six). Leia listened to me for a long time, then she kissed me and called me a survivor.

“Your stories about trading reminded me of something, though,” she told me. “You’re all sweaty. Are you tired?”

I had gotten awfully sweaty during our passionate encounter. I hadn’t given it much thought. Now that Leia mentioned it, though, my body felt worn out. “Yes.”

“Sex can require a lot of calories.” Leia kissed my forehead and got up, then set about getting dressed, not in her pajamas, but in her fatigues. I felt a little disappointed at the sight of my new lover’s body disappearing under the practical military outfit.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I think a midnight snack might be in order,” Leia said.

“Wait, what?” I sat upright. “You’re going to bring me food?”

She took my meaning right away and came over to me, pulling me into her arms. “I just want to make sure you get enough nutrition.”

“Leia…”

“This is _not_ sex for food,” she insisted. “This is you used up calories doing something strenuous that happened to be sex with me, and now someone that also happens to be me is going to bring you more calories to make up for it.” She paused. “Would you feel better if you came with me? Maybe pick out something from the cafeteria? There won’t be much variety, but you’re used to that, aren’t you?”

I wasn’t sure I would be able to eat anything from the cafeteria, even if I picked it out, but I kissed Leia, dressed again, and went with her. There was almost no food left—the Resistance was extremely careful about their resources—but there were protein bars and protein shakes. I chose a shake with an unfamiliar fruit and nut flavor because it was so unlikely to taste like the rations I used to get back on Jakku. I brought the shake back to Leia’s quarters and I sat on her bed while I drank it. The flavor was almost too intense, but after a few sips, I started enjoying it. I took a long time savoring it.

“I’m glad you like it,” said Leia. “Jewel-fruit and wuli nut is my favorite too.”

When I was done, I asked Leia if we could undress, because I liked how it had felt to snuggle with her when we were naked. She laughed and stripped to the waist, but she wanted to keep her pajama pants on. I was a little disappointed, but I didn’t want to pressure her. We fell asleep tangled up in each other.

I didn’t have any nightmares with Leia sleeping close to me, but she had two. I sensed her distress and heard her crying at about the same time. Her first nightmare was about Han; she was crying wordlessly at first, but then I heard her say Han’s name. I held her until she calmed down, and she kissed me gently and thanked me. When her second nightmare woke her, she was crying “I killed you” and apologizing over and over to someone named Korrie. This time, when she quieted, she told me about her assistant, Korr Sella. “She’d been with me since I was a senator,” she said, her voice trembling. “I sent her to Hosnian Prime because the Resistance needed support. I send pilots and soldiers on missions and they accept the danger, but Korr…she was supposed to be safe!”

“She was killed by the Starkiller Base attack,” I whispered.

“She wasn’t military,” said Leia, beginning to cry again. “I as good as killed her, Rey.”

“You couldn’t have known,” I told her, and Leia shook her head.

“I sent my son to be trained in the Force because I thought that was best for him, and the Dark Side…ensnared him. I sent Korr to her death. And now I’ve dragged you into my mess.” She covered her face with her hands. “The fact that we had sex doesn’t have to mean anything. You can go sleep in your own bed. I don’t want to keep waking you up.”

I kissed her hair and caressed her back. My palm ran over an old scar and I traced it with my fingertips. “I want to stay with you,” I told her.

“You deserve better than this,” she whispered against my shoulder.

“I care about you,” I insisted. “And if you have another nightmare, I’ll probably sense it and wake up anyway. At least if I’m here, I can help you feel better. Or…I hope I’m helping.”

“You are,” she said, and kissed me. She eventually fell back asleep with me holding her, and she slept through the rest of the night. When her alarm went off, she made a low noise of protest, but she kissed my forehead and got up, telling me I could go back to sleep as long as I didn’t miss morning chow. I got up sluggishly and walked into Leia’s bathroom, where she was already dressed in clean fatigues and engaged in a fierce battle with her masses of hair. I was immediately overcome with the desire to play with it, but I knew she was trying to get ready. I waited until she had wrestled her hair into submission and braided it into a crown around her head, brushed my teeth so I wouldn’t have “morning breath”, and kissed her.

“Remember what I said last night?” she asked me in a tired voice. “I asked you to stay with me because you’ve been having nightmares. That doesn’t mean you have to put up with mine. It’s okay if you don’t come back here tonight.”

“What? No!” I hugged her hard. “Of course I’m coming back. Don’t you want me to?”

Leia nestled her face against my neck the way she had the first time she had her arms around me. “Rey, what I want…”

“Is important,” I cut her off. “Do you want me back here tonight?”

I felt her sigh. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll be back here. I want to be with you.” I kissed the top of her head, careful not to mess up her impeccable hairstyle.

“Okay,” she said, still sounding exhausted. “And please don’t…”

“Miss morning chow,” I finished. “I promise.” I smiled. “You don’t want the person you’re having sex with to be so skinny?”

“I want you to be healthy because I care about you,” she corrected, but she was smiling too. “Now stop kissing me. You’re going to make me late.”

The day passed predictably: morning chow, work on the Resistance’s ships, afternoon chow, a visit to Finn, more work on the ships, evening chow, killing time until it was time for me to go back to Leia’s quarters. Aside from the fact that nobody came to ogle me this time, the main difference between today and yesterday was that there was news flying around: there would be a memorial for the victims of what was now being called the Hosnian Cataclysm. It would be tomorrow. The Resistance was used to responding quickly, be it with military force or grief.

Han’s funeral would be a separate event. No one dared question Leia about this.

When I got to Leia’s quarters, she had gathered a few of Korr Sella’s belongings as well as a framed picture of her. She had also laid out a black outfit for the memorial. (I was a little surprised to see that she would wear black, considering the fact that all the legends were quite clear on who her father was, and who her son had become. Then again, she didn’t seem like the type to care.) When I saw that, I thought that she would just want to snuggle, but she kissed me and whispered “Rey, please. I need to think about nothing but you for a while.” 

So Leia and I had sex again. This time she did something called “going down on” me, which involved her tongue on my clit and felt incredible. She touched herself at the same time so I could sense what she was feeling, and we got caught up that cycle of her sensing my pleasure and me sensing hers until it felt like I was going to explode, stars dancing before my eyes. After that, we lay close, but I wanted to kiss and touch her more, and me kissing and touching her breasts made her want me again. I insisted I didn’t need reciprocation; I stroked her hair and her face while my fingers worked inside her. I liked that because I could focus on listening to her make noise and say my name, and watch the way her body moved while I touched her.

She did cry, though, while I held her as we tried to fall asleep. She thanked me and said she had never connected with anyone the way she did with me, and she thought it had something to do with the fact that we were both Force-sensitive. She also mentioned she had a different kind of bond with her brother because they were Force-sensitive twins; I think she was crying because she was worried about him, and because she felt guilty about having sex with me so soon after her husband died. I kissed her and told her she deserved whatever she needed after what she had been through. She was able to sleep soon after that and didn’t have any nightmares.

A chunk of the afternoon the next day had been set aside for the memorial. Leia was in attendance, of course, looking mournful but splendid in a regal black gown. She had confided in me that she wore the dress to a party along with a cape(!) just after the secret that Darth Vader was her biological father came out. I couldn’t place why, but I thought that was hilarious. In light of what had just happened to Han, though, Leia had chosen not to wear the cape, and in her black dress she was just another mourner, albeit one who was unusually beautiful and obviously in charge. “It’s the only black thing I own,” she told me with an expression I couldn’t read, the feelings I sensed from her muddled.

Leia gave a brief eulogy for the victims of the attack on the Hosnian system. I found myself reminded of that mental wall she had put up between me and her desire for me; Leia was projecting an appropriate air of somberness, but all I sensed from her was a cool blankness, like she had shut herself off from her feelings so she wouldn’t cry. Since she was also the closest person on the base to Korr Sella, she gave a eulogy for her, too, and placed the framed picture of Korr on a table designated for pictures and other keepsakes of other relatives, friends, and lovers of the victims of the Hosnian Cataclysm. The podium was then opened to anyone who wanted to speak, and a steady stream of people began, coming up to speak and leaving pictures or mementoes on the table. It was soon nearly overflowing. Leia stood at my side, stoic and quiet even as people at the podium broke down while speaking about their lost loved ones, but she clutched my hand the whole time.

She kept it together until that night, when broke down in my arms, crying for Korr and the other dead. “I’m sorry,” she whispered into my shoulder. “You don’t have to—“

“I want to,” I interrupted. My arms tightened around Leia at the thought of her sitting up in bed, crying alone. Surely after I was gone, there would be someone who could be her shoulder to cry on.

After I was gone. I was scheduled to leave for Ahch-To the next morning. Who else was Leia close to? Chewbacca was coming with me. Han was dead, and he and Leia had been estranged for years, anyway. The pilot, Poe Dameron? He seemed to hero-worship Leia; not a relationship that suggested that he would provide emotional support for her. Joph Seastriker? I didn’t know much about him besides that he was a founding member of the Resistance. Maybe Leia had been able to talk to Korr, making her death doubly painful.

“I don’t want to leave you,” I whispered. “Or Finn. I’m supposed to leave tomorrow, and he’s still unconscious. Isn’t there anyone else you can send to Ahch-To? Someone who can bring Luke Skywalker back, and he can train me here?”

Leia let out a long breath. “I don’t know why my brother chose Ahch-To, but there must be a reason. I’m sure he won’t want to leave. If you can get him to train you, he will almost definitely want to do it there. And I’m not keeping you here so I can have someone in my bed.”

I felt a strange, awful coldness in my belly. “Is that all I am to you?”

Leia kissed my cheek. “Of course not,” she said in a soft, trembling voice. “But you have to admit, most of what has gone on between us has happened in my bed, and I’m not just talking about sex.”

Well, she was right. “Leia…”

“It’s been an intense few days,” she said. “I care about you, Rey, and I don’t see that changing.” She paused. “I could…see that…developing. I mean, you’re…” She trailed off, sighing. “I’m sorry. I’m tired, and much better with insults than compliments.”

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. “Do you think, if I stayed here, you’d fall in love with me?” I asked, and I felt her nod and one of her hands reach to caress my hair. My eyes began to sting with unshed tears at the sudden torrent of emotions that washed over me. Leia could fall in love with me. I never thought anyone could care so much about me...unless my family returned to Jakku for me. They had abandoned me and _oh_ it had hurt to think that they would never return, but Leia...she invited me to stay in her bed to keep away nightmares, she fed me, she gave me pleasure, she listened to me, she took care of me. And maybe, one day, she would be the first person to love me, to really love me.

“But that doesn’t mean I should keep you here, as much as I might want to. You might very well be key to protecting our galaxy.”

I’ve never been in love, and I had never considered the possibility. But with Leia... “What if…what if I said that I could see myself…maybe falling in love with you?”

She kissed me, then cupped my face in my hands and leaned her forehead against mine. I don’t usually pay that much attention to eyes, but Leia’s expressive ones held my gaze, filled with hope and sorrow. “Then you might have to wait to do that until you can drag my brother back here.” She paused. “And as for your friend…I’ll keep you updated as much as I can.”

I closed my eyes, trying to process the idea of setting out for an unfamiliar planet with a lightsaber and Chewbacca, leaving behind my dear friend and my new lover. I didn’t want to go. I had only just been suddenly removed from my life on Jakku, and now I was leaving D’Qar, and I felt sick at the ideas of Finn lying unresponsive in the infirmary and Leia standing at Han’s funeral with no hand to hold. At least I was sure Leia would make sure I had as many rations as she could spare. 3,000 calories a day. And Poe had been visiting Finn; I sensed a bond between them. Finn would have Poe when he woke up. But Leia…

“I’ll be fine,” she whispered, sensing my thoughts. “I always am.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I asked her if she wanted me to distract her with sex again, and she shook her head. “Thank you, Rey, but I’m not in the mood. We can do that thing where we snuggle half-naked, though. I know you like that. So do I.” 

Leia had procured sleep aids from the infirmary, and she had to take one to sleep, even though she found the skin-on-skin contact as soothing as I did. Eventually I did the same. When the alarm went off, Leia got up more quickly than I did yet again, and by the time I finally dragged myself out of bed, Leia was draped in a stunning gown that was a blue color that I couldn’t further describe. When I daydreamed about an island surrounded by a calm ocean, the color of the water was not unlike the color of Leia’s dress. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Well, more than usual.

I dressed in the clothing I had arrived in (it had been cleaned about three times) along with a new jacket with detached sleeves that Leia had left out for me. The jacket was also blue, but it was closer to the color of the sky on a clear day. I couldn’t decide whether to wear it every day to remind me of Leia or to never wear it so it wouldn’t get ruined.

Leia and I had been concealing our relationship, so we had our good-bye kiss at her door. She took my face in her hands again, the same way she had when we had embraced for the first time, and gave me an uncommonly slow, soft kiss. I sensed a mix of fear and resignation in her, and I realized with a horrible jolt that Leia was trying to savor kissing me because _she thought it would be the last time she would ever kiss me_. Why would she think that? Was she afraid I would get killed, like Han and Korr? Did she think that I would never make it back to D’Qar? Was she afraid that I would return to D’Qar but not want to be with her anymore?

“I’ll come back to you. I promise,” I said fiercely.

Leia gave me the sad smile that was becoming familiar. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

I kissed her again. “That’s not the last kiss I’ll ever give you. If I can help it.”

Her eyes welled up with tears. I thought she was going to argue, but she just said “thank you”. She squeezed my hand and took a deep breath, steeling herself. I felt that mental wall of hers go up, sealing in her feelings. I wondered if she would break down the next time was in her quarters, alone, and I wondered if I could sense it and comfort her through the Force. Maybe Luke could teach me how to reach her. We would still be together, somehow.

I pulled her close one last time and leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. I struggled to find the right words. “I’m so glad you were my first lover. Thank you for that. And for taking me through the garden, and the bath, and making sure I eat enough.”

Leia’s mental wall fell away and she relaxed in my arms. “Promise me you’ll take good care of yourself.”

“I will,” I said. “You too. I know you put on a brave face for everyone, but please take care of yourself like you take care of me. And Leia, when I get back, can we be together? And can we tell people, and kiss in the mess hall?”

Leia gave me a warm kiss. “When you get back, we can do whatever you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was Not Okay when I found out that Korr Sella was on Hosnian Prime because Leia sent her there, so that came out in this fic. And if you haven't read Bloodline, that book does indeed detail Leia showing up at a party in a black dress and cape just after the galaxy finds out that Vader was her father and her name is being dragged through the mud. Skywalker genes make you ridiculous, apparently.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm now taking bets on how many Rey/Leia fics I can churn out before my muses for this ship finally leave me alone.


End file.
